protestors are not all hippies

this one is

slam poetry callout

Lisa White is starting a Slam Poetry Venue in Indiana. It'd prolly be held at the Wadi Cafe. Anyone, students, college students, adults, if you are interested, contact me or Lisa

OO slam

I don't care about your insensitive boyfriend or dumping computers in Asia,
(dump him already)
I don't care about your french fries of death that cause frivolous lawsuits,
(listen to Jared- Subway Diet)
I don't care about gossiping, that's such a girlish topic,
(and like, that topic does not relate like to me like at all)
I don't care about your role models. I'll stick with mine, who are rich and successful.
(yup)
I don't give a damn about the Holocaust, it was bad and its over.
(And are you related to Anne?)
And I don't want to talk about the unimportance of self-esteem ever again.

So I pray to the saviour, Iron Chef Morimoto!

Sunil Patel won FX

Last year he received 6,6,6. This must be a sign of the Apocalypse.

hits

My site has gotten 90+ hits for jennifer garner nude or jennifer garner naked or joe millionaire's zora nude / naked each day for the last 4 days. Amazing.

plot twist

Yeah that was pretty awesome.

what???

Why did he pick Zora when he coulda picked Jennifer Garner?

Joe Millionaire plot twist

I bet all the female contestants are really super-rich. At least that would be pretty awesome for Joe. What sweet irony.

You heard it here first folks!

the future

My vission is blurred
Maybe I should go
put in my contacts
But I won't always have contacts
to correct my Myopia.

Should I go to the party?
(get stoned like the women in Africa)
Should I take a sip, just one?
(and get so dizzy I'll be nicknamed "the hurricane")

What classes should I take next year?
That depends.

What college do I want to apply for?
That depends.

What do I want to major in?
That depends

What do I want to do when I grow up?
That depnds.

That depends.That depends.
That depends.That depends.
That depends.
That depends.That depends.
That depends.That depends.
That depends.

lust

You know,
I really don't care about
your love life's troubles.
Not to be insensitive,
but
if I can live w/o a love life,
so can you.

My advice to you will always be
the same:
"just try it" or
"what do you really feel?"
because I have no idea what to say.

Isn't alll this early love a little frivolous?
I mean look at the Dark Ages,
when boys and girls
courted each other at 13,
and then died at 30.

Let's face it. Love does not exist
at this tender age.
Lust, perhaps. But that's
another story.
And I have to go meet that mamacita
waiting for me
at the cafe.
Chao.

email from Claire Lascelles from UTNIF

Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking
man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is
running at you while screaming obscenities. In your
hand is a Sig .45 and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Does he have low self-esteem?

Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me?

Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this
with some friends for a few days to try to come to a
conclusion.

Conservative Answer:
BANG!

Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click... (sounds of magazine being ejected and
fresh magazine inserted)

Jennifer Garner nude

Since Jennifer Garner is in Daredevil, undoubtly there will be a wave of people searching for "jennifer garner nude" on Google (yes, I know she's in Alias already. Daredevil just has a wider audience). Or maybe "jennifer garner naked" or "jennifer garner pics". So without further ado, here is NOT a picture of jennifer garner nude:



*watches the site hits roll in*

customer service rant

Tonight there was a horrible hail/sleet shower. While this was starting up, I was just in Barnes minding my own business. It wasn't until I walked outside that I realized that the road conditions were horrible.

Rant: Barnes should have announced over the PA that road conditions were sucky.

Personal trainers

My friend 'mary' is currently on a weight loss program at the YMCA. She has her personal trainer and everything. She thinks that the program will work so that's awesome. But really, how useful are personal trainers? They're just freakishly fit specimens who intimidate you into not eating bad food and force you to run all of your laps, no cutting corners!

I could be a personal trainer. Fo' real. "NO JUNK FOOD. SPIT OUT THAT SODA. NO, YOU MAY NOT LEAVE. UNTIL YOU GIVE ME 30 BENCH PRESSES OR PAY ME MY HOURLY FEE."

I think I got it down. Cept the whole "freakishly fit" part.

slam

Lisa's poetry on http://fsho.blogspot.com has inspired me to try my own hand at slam. Here goes.

You see that
I'm Asian,
and think,

He's probably smart,
polite,
and plays either the violin or piano.

And I'd love to have to right to get pissed off,
But I don't.

You're right,
I have a 4.0, I don't remember the last time I called you a fucker,
And I play the violin AND piano.

Funny how your prejudices can be accurate at times.
But when you cross the line and judge me as
Foreign, submissive, snobby, or more

I get pissed off.
Yes, I'm polite,
So I won't call you a fucker

But life has a nice way of screwing fuckers like you.

Joke Millionaire

What CRAP is this??? Fox advertised tonight's Joe Millionaire as when "Evan makes his decision." Yet we still dont' know who it is! ARGGGGGGG. But they have guaranteed that the next week's episode is the finale, so at least now we know. Gr.

Yes, I'm TV junkie whenever I don't have homework.

rant

There's something wrong with Wal-Mart having its after-winter lingerie sale and having rows upon rows of XXL thongs.