Elevator Etiquette

Finally, an accompilation of general elevator etiquette!

1) If anyone in the back of the elevator needs to get off, get out of the elevator to make room for them to get off!
2) Absolutely nothing which causes olfactory disgust is permitted.
3) No jumping up and down--if the elevator jams you will be cornered and beat down until the elevator is unjammed. Maybe a little after that too.
4) If the elevators are in heavy usage, don't use them to go up or down one floor unless you are mortally injured. Well, I guess if you're mortally injured you'd die anyways, so just never use busy elevators for one floor. Ever.
5) Don't cram onto an already overcrowded elevator; wait for the next one.

Any suggestions for other rules?

Nirav's AZN rap

Mr NS h a h: They say where are ya from?
I say was born in Cleveland Ohio
No really where are you from?
Im from here! Why do you ask with such a fear?
Do I seem to be a bit queer?

Mr NS h a h: You didn't need to mention it
I know that I am asian man
Bwrown yellow and tan
I've got azn pride..
there's nothin to hide
ill spill out my insides
I bet you've never seen my asian side!

More bond

I happened across a long-running personal blog, http://sleepychameleon.blogspot.com/ (it started in June 2001). The latest post as of tonight was about the new Bond flick:

xiaojiing (5:02:18 PM): heh. Bond GOOD!
xiaojiing (5:02:37 PM): three uninterrupted minutes of sexual innuendo
xiaojiing (5:03:24 PM): its like they hired me and rollie to write the whole scene

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I have to agree that was perhaps one of the few enjoyable parts of Bond. I actually most enjoyed when the bad guy says "There's plenty of time to sleep when you're dead..." Inside joke.

Sibo

sibo is prevalent in young dogs, there is a predominance of german shepherd dogs; sibo is the owner of indigenous people; sibo is nowhere to be seen so she smiles nervously at the stranger and says "you had better come in; sibo is expected to play defensive end at indiana state; sibo is the largest show dedicated solely to the secondary wood processing industry in quebec; sibo is a sicko x_x

Googlism.com

In case Googlism indexes my site, "Sibo is smart and sexy."

Bond

After spending 5 hours straight at the movies today, I can say confidently that James Bond has begun a gradual, yet sure decline. The Bond franchise's peak was Goldeneye, with Pierce Brosnan starting as a new face for the old superspy. Maybe it was because I was young, or that movies were different back then, but Goldeneye seemed like a top notch movie. Xenia and Natalya were not just Bond girls; they played their integral character parts well. The villian had intriguing but not too far-fetched motives.

Tomorrow Never Dies was alright. It was strange not having Bond face off with the villanous Soviets for once, but the plot turned out ok, though not as intriguing as Goldeneye.

Then came The World is Not Enough. That was the first signal of a real faltering of the Bond series. While the Bond girls (Denise Richards and Sophie Marceau) were more beautiful than ever, their respective roles were not well scripted or acted.

Need proof of the gradual decline of Bond? Just go look at Amazon.com's Bond series review. Goldeneye, . Tomorrow Never Dies, . The World is Not Enough, .

The latest Bond movie, Die Another Day, starts out well. [spoilers ahead, don't read on if you haven't seen the movie]For the first time that I'm aware of, Bond is captured by the enemy and has no hope of escape. I liked how they showed his torture during the traditional Bond credits, that had a really good effect. But then, the cheesiness began. Jynx (Halle Berry) shows up as a friendly American spy. Not only are Bond's pickup lines cheap, Jynx and Bond sleep together with little to no effort from Bond, which just doesn't make sense, even for a Hollywood film. Then Miranda Frost, who happens to be a MI6 agent too, adamantly refuses to sleep with Bond, but then just jumps in bed with him.

Even the gagdets were a little disappointing. Bond's car could turn invisible, but no doubt the villains could just see the tire tracks or hear the V6 engine? In the movie the villians were too dumb to realize this I guess. And then the scene where Bond is in the Icemobile or whatever, and it falls off the cliff, the animation was horrible. Pixar could have generated a better picture than the Army-of-Darknessesque animation of that scene.

And the action...horrible. "How do you like that for a punchline!" And then the bad guy had this electrosuit on, only he didn't keep it on all the time I guess because he wanted to honorably fight Bond? And then he started losing and turned it back on, and basically kicks Bond's butt, only he doens't finish him off and instead taunts him. Then, somehow, Bond turns on the electrosuit again and this time it fries the bad guy. Weird.

If you wanna see a good movie, 8 Mile all the way (harry potter got nothing on eminem).

l to the i to the n
sibo lin!
you like my rap?
the random rants of a rectified chink?
my crap?
wake up foo before I give you a slap.

What do you think? I have your 16 Mile right here.

excerpt of my day

GOVT CLASS

Cari (who's from Turkey): Turkey is going to get into the EU!

Amy: Probably not. Because no one wants Turkey since it's so DIRRRRTY.

Mr. Lynch: Hey, that's not funny. Especially this close to Thanksgiving.

The jokes only got worse and my eyelids became heavier. I ended up staying awake by memorizing the flags on a world atlas posted on the wall right next to me. Libya's flag is just a solid green rectangle. Not a solid green rectangle imposed on a white rectangular flag. Just a plan, green flag in the shape of a rectangle.

Scary

I hate semi's on the highway. Go a TAD BIT FASTER please. Jeez.

And while I occassionally have murderous fantasies involving a mass semi-tipping party, the ECAP reported the following:

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - A tractor-trailer carrying explosive materials overturned near Indiana University early Wednesday, killing a motorist and causing authorities to evacuate hundreds of students from nearby sorority and fraternity houses.

The truck spilled ammonia nitrate, blasting caps and diesel fuel on the Indiana 45-46 bypass near university's golf course northeast of the main campus, Indiana State Police Trooper Jackie Taylor said.

Full Text.

Pretty scary.

Spreading the gospel of Jeff Devine at the polls today ("Have a Devine Day!"), I was blown off entirely by several voters. "No thanks. I've already decided on who I will vote for." "No." "I don't need that." Although these voters initially frustrated me, fellow poll worker Walter Jermakowicz (alumnus of Reitz and Signature School, currently attending USI) brought to light the fact that when he votes, he tries to avoid people like us, the poll workers.

Really, do poll workers serve a purpose? Will just saying "Please vote Jeff Devine for School Board. He's #131!" and handing out slips with his name and ballot number help his cause? How many votes are achieved by this? The voters aren't presented an argument why to vote for that candidate. Especially when the typical voter is accosted by a bajillion poll workers yelling out a chorus of names. Vote for GilhamDevineArneyHostettlerHartkemooWillet! Even Mr. Willet, who personally worked the polls with me at St. Marx Church, was very friendly and personal to all the voters, but didn't say anything deeper than "I would appreciate it if you voted for me." If I could vote, I probably wouldn't be swayed by the poll workers.

If some people actually are swayed by the poll workers, then obviously those people did not educate themselves prior to the election. They have no business voting for a name or face that they don't really know beyond an election pamphlet attained at the last minute.

What do I propose to solve this problem? Well, banning political advertisement on Election Day is too extreme. However, I personally plan on discouraging people from working for political candidates that they don't know. When I turn 18, I will go to the polls and when someone tries to hand me a pamphlet and grill a name into my short-term, subconscious memory, in hopes that I will vote for their candidate, I will ask why I should vote for that candidate. Maybe I'll learn something and vote for someone who I previously knew nothing about. Or maybe I'll just be being rude to some high school poll worker.

Fortune Cookie

Found in a fortune cookie: "You are the guiding star of his existence. Lucky Numbers: 10, 24..."

Who is the possessor of the "existence"? Is it God? Not only does that not make sense on a Chinese fortune cookie, "his" is not capitalized. Was this fortune meant for a lady-in-waiting? Or what? Well I'm just not going to take this fortune literally. Especially if I play the "...In Bed" game.