I'm going to be able to use a school blog as my seminar project! At least I got that impression today. Anyhow, that means the plans for a Sig School blog are moving foward. The URL is http://signaturemonitor.blogspot.com but the title is subject to change...

I have half a dozen people who have offered to write/update the Monitor, so things are looking up.

Bodies in Motion...

Yahoo has a story on a new idea on how to stop threatening comets from making us fossil buddies with the dinosaurs: send a giant airbag into space to intercept the comet.

There were still numerous details to be worked out including the material for the airbag which had to be light enough to cart into space yet strong enough to bounce the comet off its course to earth.

I'd say that's the least of their worries. How in the world could a man-made airbag possibly stop a comet that has the size and velocity to destroy all life on Earth? Mr. Newton taught us that bodies in motion remain in motion...and that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sounds like the airbag contraption would lack the mass to hold up against a comet, and the comet AND the giant airbag would crash into Earth. Any dissenting ideas?

More McCandless Bashing

Regular readers of this blog will remember my "righteous thrashing" of the new public school intendent who tried to blame the school corporations budget crisis on Signature School.

Well a report by the Evansville Courier & Press today futher shows how wrong McCandless was:

Evansville's Signature Charter School has 236 students and will receive more than $312,000 in state funding in the second half of 2002, according to a report filed Tuesday by the Indiana Department of Education...But that funding is not coming from the budgets of traditional public schools because the Indiana attorney general ruled that all start-up costs for charter schools must be funded separately...starting in calendar year 2003, state charter school funding will be taken directly from traditional public schools' budgets, and the Evansville-Vanderburgh School Corp. stands to lose almost $294,000 in funding for the first half of 2003.

Ok, that is $294,000 that the EVSC is losing to charter school this year. NOT the $1.4 million loss claimed by McCandless. Sig School in NO WAY has lead to the EVSC's current budget crisis.

Jeez, McCandless. At least do what respectable polititians do: blame your predecessor for all the current problems.

Or 'fess up.

What's going Down...town?

Many Evansville natives like to joke that they are from Boringville, Eville (hence the title of this blog), The Armpit of the Universe, Hickville, and some not-rated-G nicknames.

The apex of "Evansville pride" centers around Downtown Evansville, or "Historic Downtown Evansville" as some call it(as if that generates more ooh's and aah's). I previously held a silent disdain for Downtown Evansville, since lots of city funds were put into renovating it and attracting business there, while the West Side--where I live--suffered.

Now, all that has changed. Well, the West Side still has few things to do.

But I finally appreciate Downtown. Today afterschool, Elliot, Ben, Dan, and I walked to Sunset Park to play a friendly game of tennis. In the end, Elliot had been smacked by a ball in his side (I didn't mean to do that I swear!), Ben twisted his ankle, and we were all tired. "I have an idea, let's walk to the Pagoda," suggested Elliot. "It has a cold water fountain and cheap soda machines."

Huh? Pagowha?

Apparently Downtown Evansville has a "Convention & Visitors Bureau"--and for some reason we've yet to discern, it employs Japanese architecture. That's why it's named the Pagoda.


As we plodded down Riverside Drive to get to the Pagoda, we decided to randomly wave at passing cars...surprisingly we did not get a view of any Big Birds. In fact most of the drivers can us a little wave or smile, and we even elicted one friendly honkhonk! Conclusive proof that Evansville people can be friendly after all!

At the Pagoda we got some sodas and sat down to rest for a bit. That's when I found a brochure by Downtown Evansville, Inc. with a map of Downtown Evansville and all it's fun places. Who knew we had all this downtown? A Gus Doener Sports shop? An Office of Therapeutic Massage? Hammerheads Sports Bar & Nightclub? And Advantage Courts & Fitness!

As I parted ways with Elliot and Ben to get back to the Civic Center parking lot (free parking downtown!), I passed by the Riverfront...and wow I must say it is looking much better than before. There are decoration carousel horses, nice sidewalks with cool statues and figures, and the Riverfront doesn't smell as bad as the rest of the Downtown (it's the sewage apparently). If the previous Riverfront were a 0, and the Chicago Riverfront were a 10, the new Evansville Riverfront is about a 5--which is a BIG improvment.

And now I realize just how awesome Downtown Evansville really is. Historic Downtown Evansville.

Unfortunately I've closely examined the West Side for almost a decade now, and I am reminded why Evansville called Boringville.

Ronald McDonald = Hitler

Many people see Mcdonald's as the American way...but I see the truth.
The other day I went to my local McDonald's for one of their triple thick milk shakes, which was highly recommended by a few of my friends. They end up giving my this thicker than icecream chocolate mixture in a cup with a spoon. I ask them what the spoon is for and they tell me it is for my milkshake. I go to get a straw and drink my milkshake with this common utensil while the whole time the cashier is staring at me as if by disgracing their spoon and moving to the "EVIL" straw, I have commited some horrible crime. I finish my milkshake and am about to leave when I notice a sign in the bottom of my shake. Somehow, that left over triple thick milkshake had shaped itself into something resembling a swastika. Another great injustice brought upon by this clown-driven dictatorship is getting people fat. On many occasions I have ordered my usual grilled chicken sandwich "no mayo". They give me a Big Mac with nothing but that creamy fat crap on it. of course I ask them what they just gave me and they show me my receipt and the retard marked it in as a big mac "extra mayo". This means I have to go the distance to whine until they give me my yummy sandwich. All I am saying is that there are bad things in the world and there are good things. Milk shakes=good | fascist Milk Shakes=bad | Democracy=good | fascism=bad | fascism=single-minded utensil use.

This is the first true entry done by the Great Donkey Messiah, Ellioto Gozoto,aka Elliot Thornton ( gozoto.4all.cc )

Jaws, and other Seafood

Dave Barry has another great article today...I think I will permalink to him soon, just to save time every Sunday. Anyhow, his article is on the Northern Snakeheads.

More Thanks

http://wellfed.blogspot.com/ has actually permalinked to me, gotta say thanks and link to a fellow blogging youth. If the blog stays looking good it may be added to my very selective blogroll!

More Google

A few posts down I noted that searching for "block scheduling retarded" or "block scheduling stupid" on Google would yield a thread on Mike Knight's forums that I took part in as the first search result. In more exciting news if you search for "VIDEOS DE LAS KETCUP" on Spanish Google, the FIRST search result you get is my Archives, when I talked about grabbing ketcup packets from the school lunch lines and pirating videos from KaZaA. Yes, I know I am a moron and spelled ketchup wrong. But it's all good.

Another Dose of HR

Hoosier Review is amazing...their staff seems to find all the news around the web. Here's a post that, while politically incorrect, gave me a good laugh. No wonder I made a permalink to them.

US 550m - EU 260m

The Economist has a great article on the growing demographics disparity between the US and Europe (or "Haha, take that France!"). Since The Economist requires registration to view its articles, here's an excerpt:

America's census in 2000 contained a shock. The population turned out to be rising faster than anyone had expected when the 1990 census was taken. There are disputes about exactly why this was (more on that shortly). What is not in doubt is that a gap is beginning to open with Europe. America's fertility rate is rising. Europe's is falling. America's immigration outstrips Europe's and its immigrant population is reproducing faster than native-born Americans. America's population will soon be getting younger. Europe's is ageing.


The main impact of the growing disparity, The Economist says, is that the US will be a larger market than Europe, not just by monetary value but also by demographics. The EU's attempt to rise up to challenge the US will be but to an abrupt halt as the US's larger population outproduces Europe's older and declining population.

Perhaps a larger impact of a larger US population would be America's ability to hold its market dominance over China. China, with 1.4b population, holds a huge lead over both Western Europe and the US. Moreover, its infrastructure is only now being industrialized and modernized (an interesting article showing China's potential describes how the Chinese government is defying Microsoft's pseudo-monopoly). Reporting a 7% GDP growth last year, China is on pace to overtake the US as King of the Hill in the next decade.

But America's larger population, and larger share of the market due to the decline of Western Europe, might be enough of an advantage for the US to say, "Haha, take that China!"

Judo Chop!

Don't mess with these guys.

Awesome Blog. Crazy French

http://benfischer.blogspot.com is a nice current events blog...run by a fellow Junior in high school!! Ben's site has great reporting of the news that's important but never makes it to the local news show. Here's a funny article bout France.

"Only Square's don't like the Block!"

Interesting factoid: If you search for "block scheduling retarded" or "block scheduling sucks" on google, the first search result is a discussion (involving Yours Truly) on the MikeKnight.com forums about Reitz HS switching to block scheduling last year.

First Mike presents several clear arguments why "block scheduling sucks"

1 - You lose one class period every week
2 - Enrichment is a waste
3 - The format for block is wrong it should be:
B/G/B/G/ALL
4 - It does not prepare you for college (not all classes are 1.5 hours, in fact, some classes are shorter than even the 55 minute block)
5 - Why do we need 8 minute passing periods? Anyone?
6 - The teachers don't know how to teach it
7 - Everyone thinks we like block
8 - Kills AP classes; you do less specific work
9 - You do less work in general
10 - More projects, less comprehensive tests and essays (Meaningful work)
11- "Sharing time" - to borrow an Adye phrase
12 - Drop and read - it doesn't benefit everyone. I’ll refrain from stating the politically incorrect comment
13 - We still have pep assemblies ECA PM
14 - I can list 14 reasons why it sucks

Notes: Enrichment is a homeroom. The B's and G's in block scheduling formating are just Blue and Gray days for each block.

In response, Melody Berry posts a defense of the block, only squares don't like 'the block!'. Everyone on the forums then jumped on her and beat her arguments to a pulp that baby birds could mistake for food upchucked by their mother. Fun times. The block scheduling overall definitely didn't help us learn.

Now, I've also had two weeks of experience with the Signature School block, which would be 1-4 / 5-7 / 1-4 / 5-7 / 1-4+homeroom and my views have changed. I actually have to stick up for Melody's arguments.

Block scheduling on principal is definitely NOT a bad idea. Unfortunately Reitz hasn't taken full advantage of the block...some advantages I've seen from Signature School, is that block really allows for deeper learning. We get time to work in class, in front of the teacher. How else will (s)he know if the students know the material? Unfortunately at Reitz, some of the teachers chose to use the full block period to do busy work *cough*SenoritaEykamp*cough* and busy work is not educational enough to justify its promotion of chronic arthritis.

Looking back at Mike's arguments against block, most of his were Reitz specific. Drop all those relating to the b/g/b/g/all format, enrichment, drop and read, etc.

Extend Melody's argument #3

even more time is lost in the old schedule considering the time some classes take to actually get into the lesson (ie- carls class last year wasted 20 minutes everyday talking about sports. for two days this left a total of 50 minutes for the lesson. in the block, this would leave 70 minutes left for the lesson).

A clear cut case of how the block is a good idea for more college-level academics, does not 'suck', and is not 'retarded'.

Hehe.

More Site Traffic

I'd like to quickly thank Hoosier Review and The Truth Laid Bear for linking to me in recent days. The Truth Laid Bear has some great current events commentary, from Pakistan to religion to terrorism. Not as good as the post about me, but alright.

MAINTAINENCE: New commenting system up. The old commenting service was down a lot. Leave comments!

If you look below, you'll see Elliot Thornton's "TEST!!!" post. I'm trying to set up a more open blog, run by Signature School students. It would serve as Signature's newspaper, since we don't have a physical one (modeled on the Hoosier Review). Any suggestions? Drop me a message. Hopefully a full staffed blog can be up and running soon.

TEST!!!

Ok, a Break from Sig School

From Dave Barry's site:


Go to here to read about men in thongs. It's really a good article...

The Kabutcha Mushroom People

Who are the Kabutcha Mushroom People? Well they don't exist anymore because Bart "I'm Cool" McCandless must have mistaken them for inhalable hallucinagens. But they used to be the topic of System of a Down's punk rock song "Sugar". Now they are nothing but microscopic spores that must be exponentially asexually reproducing and blocking air to McCandless's "abdula oblongada" (for those of you who have not seen the WaterBoy, it is the dominant section of a crocodile's brain).

Before continuing, I am not intending to bash the EVSC. Large schools have their advantages. But I AM bashing Bart McCandless's ingnorance toward Sig School, whether that ignorance is accidental or intentional. On with the show...

Tonight, Fox 7 aired an interview with McCandless, superintendent of the EVSC, about the EVSC's troubling budget crisis. Here's an excerpt:

"Insurance rates are estimated to go up much higher than we anticipated to the tune of an additional $3 million," he said. "We also have the $1.5 million shortfall that the state has told us that we have to deal with. Then we have another $1.4 million that we lose in tuition to charter school."

Yay, let's all shift blame to the charter school!

First off, McCandless generously rounded Signature's student population up to 250 students, then rounded the $5500 given to Sig School for each student to $5600 ("Druugs are baad") to reach his $1.4 million figure. The ACTUAL amount of state funding Sig receives, at 226 students and $5500 each student is $1243000. A 12.63% error of $157000. How did he become the superintendent of an EDUCATIONAL system?

But moreover, "$1.4 million" is assuming that all of Sig's students, if not presented with the option of fulltime Sig School, would have attended EVSC schools, bringing their state money with them. But it's a well known fact that a large portion of Sig's students come from private schools. 11 students converted from Day School. $60500 in state funding. Don't forgot the Mater Dei converts or the students who only attended EVSC schools last year because of their option to attend Sig School half day.

With students converting away from Reitz, it makes sense that this would equate into smaller classroom sizes at home schools. This allows the EVSC to not have to hire more teachers and instead jam the classes back to their pre-Sig Exodus sizes. The roughly 200 former EVSC students who now attend Sig would need at least 8 teachers per period to teach them (I'm assuming that an average class size of 25 is not too small by EVSC 'economic efficiency' standards) if they attended home schools...If we set a teacher's pay at $40,598.40 (the average salary, obtained from the EVSC high schools from the Indiana Department of Education), that's $324787.20 that the EVSC saves not paying teacher salaries!!! (Yes I realize that those 200 students could be jammed into the EVSC's already overcapacity classes without hiring new teachers, thus not incurring any more faculty costs. But then there's the whole lower education standards with larger class sizes, having long term economic impacts that I don't have the time nor space to put here)

Finally, with Sig becoming an independent charter school this year, the EVSC no longer has to pay for the Signature facility or faculty.

If the EVSC really wanted a budget crisis it should get bad media on Sig, inadvertently forcing it to uncharterize itself and rejoin the EVSC; forcing the EVSC to pay for more teachers and an entire building.

Oh wait, McCandless is already doing that...THE SPORES ARE TAKING OVER!!!

Evansville's Plan to Dominate the World

Moo money Moo problems Go eVansville.

What Signature Is...And Is Not

In AP gov class--which is one of the few classes I can honestly say make me want to think--a preliminary reading assignment was "What Democracy Is...And Is Not" (WDIAIN) by Philppe C. Schmitter & Terry Lynn Karl professor and associate professor respectively, at Stanford.

They both like to use their middle names or middle initial, I think it sounds more professional. I don't think that's fair.

But back to WDIAIN, Schimitter and Karl write an excellent explanation of the evolution of the the concept of democracy. For instance, free, open elections are no longer offer a country immediate recognition as a democracy--the elections only occur at separated intervals (citizens have no voice during the actual office term), and candidates only offer non-radical views (no one could advocate discontinuing Social Security and still be elected to office, even though some very smart, talented, Asians would love that).

The reason why I bring this is up because Signature School itself is going though a transitional period in which its concept of Signature freedom is on the brink of being unreversably altered. Yesterday, Mrs. Snyder warned about a possible closing down of the Commons because of some students who didn't clean up after themselves and announced the coming release of a school dress code. Today she out of nowhere informed us that this morning the faculty had an emergency meeting and came within a hairswidth of serverly limiting elevator access. Insane.

Signature School's trademark Signature freedom is freedom that all Sig School students enjoy as part of the implicit agreement of all charter school or small school students: I came here to learn, I will work hard, but I expect more freedom and individuality. Signature freedom is the single concept most central to Sig School, not only being very cool but also an integral part of Sig's charter. Any unnecessary or overwhelming encroachments on freedom must be resisted.

The overall theme of WDIAIN is that not all types of democracy--yes, there are countless species of democracy--can be lumped together when dealing with the concept of "What is Democracy?" It's too hard to generalize all democracies, some more democratic than others, all together. At Sig, it would be unfair to lump all users of the Commons together under the belief that we're all violators of 'you-spill-it-you-clean-it' policy. Some stupid underclassmen messed up the Commons and now the school hurts not only the upperclassmen but also the innocent freshmen and sophomores? Where's the logic in that? Moving the Commons back up to Heaven on the 4th floor would do wonders. Not only would it not smell (or at least any funky smell would dissipate in seconds), but cameras already installed could monitor the area to make sure no one leaves a mess.

Sorry Frenchies, you're banished to smelly Hell.

WDIAIN also covers a democracy's need to balance its citizens' freedom and its government's power. "Both, if carried to extremes, could undermine the practice of democracy." A school dress code poses a similar dilemma. I totally understand the need for a school dress code. However, only a few students are dressing (undressing) to an extreme...the vast majority of Sig is normal, except that we wear all black. Haha, just KIDDING. There are a few students at Sig that do that, but I don't think all-black dressing ought to be banned. Really no clothes should be banned in a partisan conservative manner. The process for banning clothes, if it were to retain our freedoms to the greatest degree while still keeping order in school, would be to have blind votes on what clothes should be banned ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS. Student A may be wearing short skirts but unless her class finds it distracting, she can continue to wear short skirts. What a pity.

The elevator issue is the most serious of all the problems at Sig. Once again paralelling WDIAIN's idea that somethings can't be lumped together, it makes no sense to punish the entire student population for the actions of a few stupid REATARDED FKREAING ANNAOTING freshmen, cause after all they are new. Plus some of the freshmen are very cool. For instance I ate lunch quite a few times this week with Grace, Hoa, and April, all frosh girls, and they don't seem like the elevator-button-pushing type.

Perhaps more central to the argument against elevator limitation would be the actual physical argument. Sig School is like Wayside School, it's much taller than it is wide. Walking 6 floors to get to class just doesn't sound fun...nor possible for some students. Phuc has to use a rolling backpack for his books...imagine making him carry his backpack up 6 floors, with his short legs. There are other students who might not make it up either, or would be seriously tired...so if nothing else the elevator should not be limited because it would be unhealthy for us.

I'm all for banning violators of elevator etiquette however. THAT MEANS YOU PHUC. DON"T USE THE ELEVATOR FOR ONE FREAKING FLOOR.

What is Signature? A place where students enjoy more freedom and individuality in their learning experience. What is Signature not? A place to abuse the rules, nor a place to make overbearing rules.

On an ending note, I support Signature. I think my teachers are the most qualfied collective staff I've EVER had. And of course the people there rock!

Ack one more note, I don't really think Sig is a democracy. If Reitz were an authoritarian regime, Sig would structured like a confederation of Indian tribes. Random.

In the Nation's Best Interest...

Bush apparently got 'furious' over this. Nice to know Bush is investing his political capital in worthwhile places.

Random Blurbs from the First Day at Sig

Why is it that the returning students are the last to learn that lunch requires sign ups? Why is it that Emges costs so much less than Blimpies? Why is it that Asian Pride can be coolly referred to as AZN Pride, but White pride is called racism/hickness? What is Democracy? Is Lynch on decaf? Why is Amy ultra liberal? How does Chris Berry find "Tuvulu" as funny as I do? Why does the Commons smell? Where are all the couches? Why is the bookstore never open when I have time to get my books? How come Alex is the only other Junior I know in my English class? Why is our Physics class almost as large as a Reitz class? Why does the science teacher run a lot, killing valuable brain cells? Why does he smile so much? Who's in my Calc class?

Why couldn't Reitz be this much fun?

I like long walks on the beach and surfing the web

Who's more stupid, those who 'date' online, or those who give advice for online dating?


For when it comes to online dating, men, according to Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider "are having a ball. They are laughing all the way to the bank." [from Yahoo News]

You decide.

Iraq is Baq

Because Iraq is not cool, I'd like to continue my Let's Bash Iraq week with a link to the Hoosier Review...enjoy!

Funny Picture Here

Iraq Attaq

Saddam Hussein is a brilliant, if ruthless, leader. The mere fact that he has survived over a decade despite the ill-will of the world's only superpower attests to Saddam's political savvy. As a US attack on Iraq is gaining Congressional acquiescence, Saddam probably realize that if he takes no action, he faces a serious chance of being overthrown. In response, Iraq has recently made two offers to allow weapons inspections to resume. The first, made to the US, was summarily rejected; the second offer, made to the UN, is currently under study. Let's pray that the UN does not succumb to the temptation of resuming weapons inspections as an alternative to the ultimate goal of disarmament.

The reason why the recently proposed inspections don't fulfill post-Persian Gulf UN resolutions is because Saddam doesn't agree to unconditional cooperation with weapons inspections. This allows him to play a 'shell game' with his chemical, biological, and possibly nuclear weapons; by stalling and purposly slowing down inspections, Saddam can move his weapons of mass destruction to safer locations. Ultimately, anything short of full Iraqi compliance will fail to achieve disarmament.

But Saddam clearly shows no signs of bowing to US demands. The following article by the state-controlled Iraqi News Agency is quite humorous, in a twisted way.

Chief of the Voices in the Wilderness Organization Kathy Kelly decried American threats against Iraq as an attempt to control oil and riches of the region...

Mrs. Kelly said that America attempts to find justifications to launch aggression on Iraq. However there is no evidence against Iraq to justify aggression. She said that the sit in would continue till 11 September, then the Organization would organize a tour passing through New York, New Gersey, Jorgia and a number of other cities which include plants of weapons of mass destruction. The aim of such tour is to unveil U.S hypocrisy as the U.S produces weapons of mass destruction while it accuses others of producing them. [http://www.uruklink.net/iraqnews/enews5.htm]

Kathy Kelly seems to miss the point that unlike Iraq, the US and the rest of the nuclear powers refrain from using weapons of mass destruction on its citizens and neighbors (India and Pakistan have come close, but deterrence has contributed to a tenuous peace). Moreover, Iraq has agreed to treaties and UN resolutions calling for disarmament of weapons of mass destruction and non-proliferation. Besides, the Voices in the Wilderness (distinguishable from 'Voices in the Proposed Wilderness' or the 'Appalachian Voices in the Wilderness' by its atrocious spelling of American states) isn't exactly the most credible source.

Because Saddam is continuing to resist US demands for full compliance, and weapons inspections that don't have Iraqi compliance are doomed to fail to meet the task of disarmament, the UN should resist the temptation to approve reinstating weapons inspections on Iraq's terms. This is another ply by Saddam to buy more time to develop nuclear weapons...and nothing short of a regime change will stop Saddam.

Update on Reason #291 Why Sig School Might Rock

In an official letter from none other than Ms. Snyder (president of Signature School) Sig students have the choice of eating at Blimpies, Emge Deli, Lic's, Angelo's, Milano's, Stratman's Pharmacy, or El Patio.

Yay!

Chop Suey: Hidden Chinese Violence?

Taiwan faces a growing possibility of military action by the mainland if "radical pro-independence moves" continue on the island, the Chinese government warned Wednesday through its state-run media.

There is a growing possibility that "peace will have to be safeguarded and won through the use of force," a newspaper article said, quoting what it called a "senior military source." [http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&ncid=716&e=1&u=/ap/20020807/ap_on_re_as/china_taiwan_19]

At one of the extemp camp lectures (delivered superbly by Riffi "Fozzi" Nawaz I believe) over China, the main thesis about the China-Taiwan-US love triangle was that neither China or the US would make a drastic move in relation to Taiwan, since Chinese-US relations were peachy everywhere else. Now a quirk has been thrown into the lovefest- Taiwan went ahead and threatened independence without explicit US support. So will the Fozzi Doctrine hold true? Definitely; even with Taiwan's unexpected move, China will not use military force to keep Taiwan.

Examining the costs and benefits of attacking Taiwan from the Chinese perspective, the only major benefit of attacking Taiwan would be saving face (which really isn't that important, considering that the US shows up every other country and the world anyway).

"What about Taiwan's economic value?" Insignificant. This Asian Tiger has not only stopped roaring, but might well have been fully castrated as well. Business Week of Sept. 3 reports that Taiwan's GDP had shrunk by 2.4% in 2001. That was before the global post-Sept. 11 recession. Meanwhile, China's GDP was growing by 7.6% earlier this year. The difference is that Taiwan has already mostly industrialized, whereas China is only now expanded its infrastructure, allowing for excellent growth.

If anything, economically, China would be attracted to NOT attack Taiwan. The above Business Week article of Sept 3. graphs the following trend:



Because of Taiwan's large investment in China, Beijing will be wary of scaring off Taiwanese investors.

The other costs of attacking Taiwan are numerous and obvious: deterioration of relations and possible proxy war with US, loss of international respect, and renewed long-lasting Taiwanese resentment of China.

Simple cost-benefits analysis from the Chinese point of view upholds the Fozzi Doctrine. Sorry for any regurgitated analysis.

Excuse Me

Record-Breaking Burp Attempt Runs Into Hiccup
Fri Aug 2, 9:06 AM ET

Solicitor's clerk Paul Hunn, 33, from London was hoping to better the 118.1 decibel mark -- a burp as loud as a pneumatic drill -- a sonic tour de force he set in 2000. But after chugging back a carbonated drink and gulping mouthfuls of air to build up gas in his stomach, he could only manage 110.5 decibels on a Guinness World Record sound level meter. [http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=3&u=/nm/20020802/od_nm/burp_dc_2]



Whoa. That's one loud burp. According to Galen Carol Audio permanent hearing loss can result from 90 - 95decibals. A power mower runs at 107 dB. The world's loudest burp was only decibals away from beginning to cause sonic pain, at 125 dB. Awesome.

It used to be that you were famous for something meaningful...promoting civil liberties, helping the poor, cutting taxes, etc...The most showing off some trival physical talent such as eating a large steak could do for you was get your picture on the wall of some middle-of-nowhere steakhouse in Montana (The World's Largest Steak weighs 205-oz. by the way). Now totally useless talents can make you famous.

Take for example Fox's new "hit television show of the year"- 30 Seconds to Fame. It's a horrible horrible show, worse than anything I've ever seen on national television. Yes, even including the Ape documentary on PBS. Even including She-Spies. Basically you are given 30 secs to do something outrageous...if the crowd isn't impressed enough you get eliminated. The last person to get eliminated wins $25,000. The first episode (and the only one I will ever watch again) had some guy who could suck his stomach in really skinny...damn, that's not that special of a talent. Even for a fat American. Give me some nuclear waste and I'll learn to play the violin with two bows and three arms.

So if I despise the media overcoverage of these "mutatations" so much, why did I like the burping article? Honestly....it appeals to the extemper in me. I could use it for so many intros, from the "exploding" of the situation in the Middle East, to the "record" high US trade deficeit.

What? You actually like She Spies and 30 Seconds to Fame?! Well, excuuuuuse me.

Reason #187 Why Sig School Might Rock: More Sleep

Last time we learned that Sig will have good food and that the 4th floor is Heaven plus couches. Due to record-breaking discussion on my last Sig School post (yes, 2 comments qualifies as 'record-breaking' at this point), I've decided to continue the series. Today's reason to go to Sig: More Sleep.



Whereas last year the bus came at 6:45--meaning I had to wake up around 6:30 at the latest--Signature School will start at 8:30. This is explained on Signature School's FAQ page:

Is Signature School's school day and school calendar the same as the EVSC's?
Signature's school calendar is the same as the EVSC's, but the school day is different. Consistent with research about the sleep cycles of teenagers, Signature's day begins one hour later than the rest of the EVSC and extends one hour longer.

Any teenager knows the benefit of having an hour later to sleep. For any non-teen who may read this (yeah, wishful thinking probably), teens have trouble sleeping early in the night. Yet we need as much sleep as we got when we were kids. I swear I am not making this up. From the people who brought you a giant purple dinosaur who plays with rather than eats children and monsters who live in trash cans on some non-existent Street, PBS had an excellent study on teenage sleep behavior. Here's a passage:

The brain consolidates learning during two particular phases of sleep. According to Dr. Robert Stickgold of Harvard University Medical School, who conducted a series of tests involving visual tasks, the brain seems to need lots of slow-wave sleep and a good chunk of another kind of sleep, Rapid Eye Movement, or REM. Dr. Stickgold hypothesizes that the reason the brain needs these particular kinds of sleep is that certain brain chemicals plummet during the first part of the night, and information flows out of the hippocampus (the memory region) and into the cortex. He thinks the brain then distributes the new information into appropriate networks and categories. Inside the brain, proteins strengthen the connections between nerve cells consolidating the new skills learned the day before. Then later, during REM, the brain re-enacts the lessons from the previous day and solidifies the newly- made connections through the memory banks.

Kinda funny how all these researchers went through all this trouble to prove what teens knew all along. Like a giant lie detector test.

Anyhow, yay for Sig. Now look at the sleep cartoon above again. What is that teen doing wrong? One, he's sleeping on a couch; two, he's taking up two, maybe even three spots on the couch.